I hate the 4th: A Trilogy

This year I hate the fourth of July and the fireworks 
This year all it does is remind me of everything I’ve lost since then 

I remember everything I felt on this holiday and if I close my eyes I can feel you right next to me 

but today this is not a good thing and I don’t think it ever was 

last year I spent the fourth with you but you were leaving me 

and you stood next to me as I cried under the fireworks, kissing my tears as if you weren’t the reason they were falling 

holding me tight as if you didn’t plan on letting go 

telling me over and over in my ear, not to cry or worry 

that our future was set 

that my loss was temporary 

now it’s the fourth again and I can barely say your name 

I can’t bear to see your face or look into your eyes 

today is not a celebration  

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