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The way men look at me scars me in some ways.

It doesn’t make me feel safe or human, it makes me feel like prey

Like I am the goat and they are the lion, and we are alone.

In the field

just friends

this time was different.
he kissed me the same

he smiled at me the same
but this time was different

he fucked me the same
he held me the same

he spoke to me the same
yet I feel like I gave away something

That I was supposed to be keeping

fragile 

I am a twig.

If you step on me I will break and you’ll hear a snap.

You may cringe, but you won’t stop walking.

You won’t even look back.

You’ll expect me to be okay, and bury your guilt behind your insecurities.

All the while I am still broken, still snapped.

The sound plays over and over in my head.

Snap snap snap

oxygen 

it is never the right person with the wrong time. it is just the wrong person 

the person who swears they will stay until the day they don’t

the person who inhales all of your love only to exhale it into the face of another 

the person who steals your oxygen 

hate hate hate hate hate

hate is a dangerous emotion

it sets my veins on fire and engulfs my skin

it’s occupies my mind and dissipates my brain

it is what gives me a sore neck

or a headache

it cannot be satisfied and should never be fed

hate is the white-hot fire that can not be put out

only coerced down

Body pieces: me 

i’m lonely but i’m not alone i smile but i’m not happy

I’ve eaten but i haven’t been full

i sleep but i’m still tired

i work but i have no money

i say i’m okay but i never am

i’m on what seems like a never ending journey to fill myself

i am searching blind, because i don’t know what i’m looking for

i’m not lost but i do need to be found

confetti

confetti

is what my heart is,pieces of white confetti

you’d think red, but no. there is no blood here anymore. it’s all gone

siphoned out and gone away

it makes me wonder what the hell my heart is still beating for

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Body Pieces: Bones

bonesI feel like I have no bones 
My stomach is getting bigger, and my hips and thighs wider
I feel like a glass of grape jelly, but I trust I am tougher than that
My feet hold all my bones to carry me through every day
Although sometimes they break, they heal much stronger