More than ‘Okay’

I open my eyes from thinking of you to find yours open looking at me

You give me a new feeling

One that I didn’t think I could have anymore

You make my cheeks hurt from smiling so much

I can’t seem to stop saying how much you relax my soul

You make absolute happiness possible

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Sunshine and chocolate and unexpected things

I love the sun on my skin and you feel just as good as that

No way more than that

You make me feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be

and I swear the best things are the ones you never see coming

because I never expected you

fucked

fucked

i meant it when i said every other poem is about you

because all the other ones are about him

i should’ve known that my love for you wasn’t the same that we wouldn’t be the same, when i fell for him.

i should’ve known, and i did but i didn’t listen because i didn’t want to hear.

there were no signs but their were i just didn’t want to see them

i had the answer i just wouldn’t open it and accept it.

i chose my dream over my reality and it really fucked me up when i finally woke up.

orchid

I can still feel your kisses all over my face

but they don’t set me on fire

they make my heart beat evenly

and even though you make my hands shake you warm my soul

you’re a million breaths of fresh air

I look at you and I think beautiful

your smile amazes me and the way you look at me makes me feel safe

it’s too soon to tell but I know I don’t want to lose you so to be continued

I’m praying so

To: Poetry From: Me, I love you

Sometimes I think maybe you won’t love me back

But then something comes to me in the middle of my day and it gives me hope

Sometimes you leave for days but I know now that’s you just letting me rest

But you never hurt me, and you bring nothing but healing

You make me love my hands and the sound of my own voice

And myself and the thoughts that are apart of me

You give everything about me a reason

Good Thing

What do people say about things that seem too good to be true?

Is it true? Is that thing not real because it’s so amazing

Or am I just blessed?

Or are you just in my head?

I think I’ve decided that you are real and you are the too good but this time it’s true

the artist, the arsonist, and the con

We are a circle

a cycle that never stops

the song that never ends

that one piece of the puzzle that just won’t fit

but we were also the best pumpkin pie

and the perfect cup of coffee

and so I, the artist fell in love with the con

and you schemed me out of all of my love, and then gave it all away

Red velvet cake

i let you pour lies into my body

and they ran over me like silk

and went down my spine

as smooth as milk

and stuck to my hips

so sweetly like honey

and from on then you couldn’t keep your hands off of me

your lips always on my back

your hands stuck to my hips

your eyes told me you wanted me

but your promises never stayed

My delirium

It’s only been 4 days. It’s felt like a year. And that’s a good thing I’m thinking because I swear time stops when I’m with you. You still make me nervous and when I hear about any of your others I feel a deep pain in my chest. Sometimes I ask myself why do I still hang on to you? Why do I still love you? Because you simply make me happy, and you make me smile. You kiss me like you mean it and you hold me tight. I feel safe when I’m with you and I feel comfortable and it feels right. and before when you’ve left me I’ve always felt so empty, but you’ve always come back.

And sometimes I’m never sure if it’s the right reason but it must be, right? I want to marry you. I want to wake up next to you every day I can. I want to make you take our kids to school early in the morning when I’m too lazy to do it myself. I want to pick out colors to paint our walls with in our house. I want to stay up late nights reading you poetry and showing you my writing. I want you to be the first person I tell when I publish a book and I hit an amazing number of sells. I want every aspect of life with you. I want you to be here when I lose the people in my family because I know you can share the silence when I need it. I want you to be the one to hold my feet in the winter when it’s cold, and tease me about wearing sweaters or jeans in the summer. I want to argue with you about stupid things that we’ll kiss and be over in a matter of 5 mins. I want to sit on the toilet pooping and talk to you while you take showers and make you desserts when your sad and buy you cheez itz when you’ve had a bad day. I don’t know any other way to tell you how much I love you and want to be with you. I only hope you’ll want me when I’m ready to take you up on the chance to make things right. I hope you won’t be in love with someone else, or be happier without me by your side. I’m in love with you and I want nothing more to heal and to love and be with you better than we’ve ever been before. I have this vision in my head of how great it can be. I just want it all to be great. And I know life isn’t perfect, and things fall apart and people leave and fall out of love but we aren’t those people because we aren’t fate or destiny or even chance. We choose to be, we believe in us and we fight for us and we love for us. We’ve hurt each other we’ve lied and cried but we fix it, and we move on. I think is choosing is stronger than any kind of fate or destiny . It’s magical, it’s something I don’t even know if I have a word for it. it’s you. precious. I love you.


“The deadliest of all deadly things: it kills you both when you have it and when you don’t”

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