pillow talk

I want to find my ice cream again with you
I want to catch you looking at me like you used to
I want to lay on the floor and look into your eyes
I want to hold your hands to my face and kiss your fingertips
most of all I want to be the love of your life again


I am a twig.

If you step on me I will break and you’ll hear a snap.

You may cringe, but you won’t stop walking.

You won’t even look back.

You’ll expect me to be okay, and bury your guilt behind your insecurities.

All the while I am still broken, still snapped.

The sound plays over and over in my head.

Snap snap snap

july 12

i want to be able to call you mine i want to kiss your cheeks and under your eyes 

i want to tuck your hair behind your ears 

i want to be able to kiss you when you cry 

i want to love you more than before 

and call you my..

i want the rest of my life with you 

hate hate hate hate hate

hate is a dangerous emotion

it sets my veins on fire and engulfs my skin

it’s occupies my mind and dissipates my brain

it is what gives me a sore neck

or a headache

it cannot be satisfied and should never be fed

hate is the white-hot fire that can not be put out

only coerced down

my depression

This tub I sit in full of water is a representation of my sorrows

I have tried all the ways you would think to expel them

to drink, to smoke, to cut, to curse and yell and forget

none have helped or worked

so this is what I do now

I sit in my sorrows, I drown in them

and when I lift my head from this glitter filled water

I’ll feel the same but smile to other faces as if I’ve drowned them along with myself